In a target's efforts to protect themselves, sometimes the boundaries can be set too high, and the challenge now becomes the ability to at least allow the good things in. Avoidance occurs when people stop allowing positive connections (encouragement, support, etc.) in order to protect themselves from an inevitable hurtful exchange. Here is how this plays out in terms of boundaries:
Motivator:
Avoidance…
It is the nature of a good person’s heart to want to connect, as opposed to creating conflict and dissonance. When anything but harmony exists, most people at best try to modify who they really are in order to cope. It is not natural. On the other hand, we tend to gravitate to people who “allow us to be ourselves”. So what happens when you feel uncomfortable and guarded around another due to their…
When someone is under the ‘spell’ of a workplace bully or very difficult person, the tendency for the target is to self-reflect and analyze the thoughts “What could I do better?” or “How can I adapt or change?” in order to minimize the effects of this awful situation. Normally, with a respectful person, this is the way to proceed. Unfortunately, this approach does not work with a workplace…
Codependency: a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one's relationships and quality of life. It also often involves putting one's needs at a lower priority while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.
Narcissists, with their ability to "get others to follow their plans," are natural magnets for someone who might be co-dependent and whose…
Forceful or Aggressive: Not honoring the boundaries of others.
Motivator:
To get their own needs met - first as efficiently as possible.
What They Do:
Overt and direct – demand that others comply in order to meet their needs. They use direct words and tone of voice to push you into decisions you do not want.
Manipulative – A more persuasive approach that is less confrontational but creates…
You know you’re right. This is a case of bullying behavior. Be aware that the boss you go to for intervention may not have the same need as you to have this corrected!
The boss might be just as happy if he/she did not have to deal with this situation, and you could just “shoulder” the situation. Don’t fall for this; you know this is not best.
The boss might encourage you to “buy more coffee,…
Have you ever been frustrated because the bully at work does not hear you? Have you found yourself working up the courage to say something, only to be ignored, dismissed, or handled? Do you find yourself feeling confused and once again going over in your mind “how to say it so the bully at work will hear me?”
Why The Bully At Work Appears Not To Hear You – 2 Reasons:
The bully at work is into being in…
It is the nature of a good person’s heart to want to connect, as opposed to create conflict and dissonance. When anything but harmony exists, most people at best try to modify who they really are in order to cope. It is not natural. On the other hand, we tend to gravitate to people who “allow us to be ourselves”. So what happens when you feel uncomfortable and guarded around another due to their…
Ever have a situation at work where another co-worker you do not have authority over is bullying you? Do you try and let it not bother you? Do you find yourself bothered anyway? Take a read over this helpful scenario:
Here’s The Scenario:
Judy works for a company where Michelle is the receptionist. Michelle does not directly report to Judy, but Judy does have a higher position in the company. When…
The first step to correcting a culture of disrespect and possible workplace bullying behaviors is to first of all name the behavior. Here are two behaviors: Arrogance and Disrespect. Becoming more aware of what they are and their effects will help you to draw the line from someone having ‘power over’ you, even just for a few moments. So, how do you handle these two behaviors?
Arrogant: conceited,…
