It’s not fair. Yes, this is true. The question is what do we do when something isn’t fair? While workplace bullying has been proven to take its toll on a target’s well being, sometimes one forgets they still have power. This place of powerlessness does not serve anyone, especially the target.
It is natural to think: “Why should I have to change? They are the ones who need to change”. Yes, this can feel more comfortable for the time being, but most times, as we know, the bully doesn’t change. If we are not careful, we can become an entirely different person as a result of holding onto our resentments. I hope this two part series will help you to unlock and re-load! Remember, you are more than your feelings, experiences and past!
What Is Resentment?
Definition of Resentment: the harboring of animosity, hostility and ill-will toward a person or group of people who you believe has treated you unjustly.
Resentment Can Create: unresolved anger, seething and aching emotional turmoil that can rob you of a positive outlook and joy. Also, there can be an unwillingness to forgive and an inability to let go and forget. You ‘get stuck’ and wonder how you ‘got here’.
If You’ve Carried Resentment, Have You Behaved This Way?
How Do We Become Resentful?
Become aware if you are holding onto any resentments and what this might be doing to you. Do not ignore or numb out. Hiding unresolved anger and feelings will keep you from receiving joy. We will continue to reject ourselves and others until we ‘feel’. As Dr. Phil says, we cannot heal what we cannot feel which is a very good thing to remember.
Can you journal and sit with this awareness in order to feel and become more aware? Just know that when you recognize anger and resentment, it is the first step in your break through. Ignoring these feelings may create a persistent negative attitude and behavior problem. You are more than your feelings, and you will benefit by becoming more aware of your feelings and how they may be controlling you. This can seem like a leap of faith. Why not try it…you’re worth it.
Be sure to read Overcoming Workplace Bullying Resentment for additional information.
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Valerie Cade, CSP is a Workplace Bullying Expert, Speaker and Author of "Bully Free at Work: What You Can Do To Stop Workplace Bullying Now!" which has been distributed in over 100 countries worldwide. For presentations and consulting on workplace bullying prevention and respectful workplace implementation, go to http://www.BullyFreeAtWork.com
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