Here is some Inspiration to help you stop workplace bullying:
Inspiration is the key in creating an encouraging atmosphere. This helps to build the strength needed to take those steps you’d like to take in order to bully proof yourself and establish clear boundaries.
Consider the virtues of: Mercy and Loyalty
These words of wisdom are from the Virtues Project™ http://www.virtuesproject.com
How do you let go of what the bully has done? Many people say grace or forgiveness will set you free. What if you do not feel like extending this?
Mercy – extending forgiveness and kindness when beyond what people may deserve. It is what truly sets us free. Loyalty is the second part of our message. Perhaps in our struggle to cope, we might forget those things to which we were most loyal. A re-commitment is sometimes all we need to re-connect us to things we care about, and in turn, support us as well!
Mercy
Mercy is blessing others with our compassion and forgiveness. We are touched by their suffering and want to help. Justice is giving people what they deserve. Mercy is giving them more. We are merciful when we give ourselves and others a fresh chance after an offense or mistake. Nothing inspires hope so much as a clean slate. When we have the humility to remember the countless mercies we receive throughout life, we find it in our hearts to show mercy to others. We offer the gift of our tenderness.
The Practice of Mercy
Loyalty
Loyalty is unwavering commitment to the people and ideals we care about. We are steadfast through good times and bad. Even when others disappoint us, we are resilient and forgiving. We invest in our relationships and do what it takes to keep them whole and strong. We stand by our true friends whatever the cost. We don’t allow blind loyalty to lead us into trouble. Above all, we must be true to ourselves and loyal to what we know is right.
The Practice of Loyalty
We’d love to hear your thoughts to encourage and support others. Feel free to reply to us any time – you just might make the difference for someone today!
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Valerie Cade, CSP is a Workplace Bullying Expert, Speaker and Author of "Bully Free at Work: What You Can Do To Stop Workplace Bullying Now!" which has been distributed in over 100 countries worldwide. For presentations and consulting on workplace bullying prevention and respectful workplace implementation, go to http://www.BullyFreeAtWork.com
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I do practice forgiveness but it sure is hard to forget when this person – the boss – keeps treating you with disrespect. Some days I am invisible to him and others he makes a half-hearted attempt to be nice. Either way I know that he is not sincere. I have tried on numerous occassions to start with a clean slate just so I can have a piece of mind – then he does some of the same ole stuff again and again. It is better to see that a snake is still a snake.
In my situation the bully was a co-worker who got me written up 2x and suspended for 3 days once and the last write up was the last straw for me. When I refused to take her back for the upteenth time as a friend, she then started stalking me to the point that when the shift preference came available, I moved to days and there was a 2 week period where I even had to use personal time to leave a half hour early everyday to avoid contact with her until I felt she had her anger under contoll. Sadly, the only mercy I could give was to myself since she was determined to make my life a living hell. Recently, the other people who work with her on that shift just confronted her about her abusive behavior and chronic complaining. She went around and apologized to everyone except me. Well, honestly, I didn’t really mind since she’d lied to me so many times about resolving our issues that I wouldn’t believe her anyway. I told the people she currently works with that if she had any feelings or cared at all about me that she would just leave me completely alone. You see this is the only way I could be sure she wouldn’t accuse me of saying something I never said and I would not be written up again for something I didn’t do. For the most part she has honored that but occassionally she will try to offer me a favor and I always reply the same, thanks but no thanks. I seriously do not believe in this instance that mercy or loyalty with this person would do any more than create future grief from someone who enjoys hurting others. Fortunately she is the only bully I’ve ever encountered where those 2 things would not work. With this woman, when all else fails to get someone into trouble she uses her trump card and states that all americans hate foreigns! She cannot get it thru her head that it is her character and not the country she’s from that is most damaging to others and I certainly will not be the one to tell her! My safest bet is to avoid any conversation with her even in front of others and minimize my contact time with her to as little as possible. She stil wants my friendship but how many times can you break a promise and lie to get someone into trouble before you get the fact you need to stay as far away from them as possible!