Here is some Inspiration to help you stop workplace bullying:
Inspiration is the key in creating an encouraging atmosphere. This helps to build the strength needed to take those steps you’d like to take in order to bully proof yourself and establish clear boundaries.
Consider the virtues of: Acceptance and Assertiveness
These words of wisdom are from the Virtues Project™ http://www.virtuesproject.com
Do you sometimes fall under the illusion that the bully will change and see the light?
Acceptance
Acceptance is embracing life on its own terms. We are open to what is, rather than wishing for something different. We face the truth in all circumstances with honesty and courage. Acceptance helps us to bend without breaking in the winds of tests, to gather the lessons and step forward with new wisdom and awareness. We affirm others and ourselves for the qualities we do have and avoid judgment and criticism for what we and others don’t have. We don’t have to tolerate workplace bullying, but accepting that the bully may not change is key. This way you can move into reality.
The Practice of Acceptance
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is speaking one’s truth with peaceful confidence. It is discerning the song we were given to sing and using our talents as a gift to the world. We have the courage to speak up for what we believe is right. We tell the truth about what is just. Assertiveness comes from knowing our own worth, and honoring the dignity of who we are. We stand on our own holy ground, and set boundaries without guilt. We never beg or make demands. We ask for what we need by making simple, positive requests. We treat ourselves with respect and expect respect from others at all times. When we are not assertive, we are motivated by fear. Fear will ultimately shut us down. Start with asserting, first to yourself and then with trusted friends, what your truth is. Setting boundaries with the bully instead of “just taking it” is a powerful step to your peace.
The Practice of Assertiveness
We’d love to hear your thoughts to encourage and support others. Feel free to reply to us any time – you just might make the difference for someone today!
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Valerie Cade, CSP is a Workplace Bullying Expert, Speaker and Author of "Bully Free at Work: What You Can Do To Stop Workplace Bullying Now!" which has been distributed in over 100 countries worldwide. For presentations and consulting on workplace bullying prevention and respectful workplace implementation, go to http://www.BullyFreeAtWork.com
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Hi, I just came upon this web page in search of how to even mention why I have resigned from two positions because of bullying. I am suffering from resigning from one law firm after trying to expose a “bullying” assistant manager’s poor management skills to the hiring partners, as she tried to move my desk next to hers to actually assist her with her duties, although I had three attorneys and she had one, unfortunately, all three hiring managers decided to let the assistant manager and the entire firm proceed to mock me and make fun of me,swear at me to the point of tears and my resignation. I tried to apply at several law firms afterwards and was sabatougged by the law firm I resigned from. When I got hired at my current law firm, I thought, this was the best job I landed, until six months later, I am in a worse state of sabatouge than before – to the point where I asked my Human Resource Manager for a leave of absence, because she believed I needed to seek a mental health professional’s opinion INSTEAD of believing my comments and concerns about coworkes and attorneys making fun of me. If you met me, you would be shocked, I am this conservative, average looking, 50-yr. old, who is meek and can not understand why folks won’t just let me do my work – The world is sure full of miserable people who just want to have fun being cruel to others. So, today is my first day of leave of absence. If I interview somewhere, I will have to have prospective employers contact the last two positions to verify employment – but I know that both employers will want to put me down or say something to sway some new employer from hiring me. HOW DO I GET AROUND THIS PROBLEM? I have good references from jobs before the last two years, but that won’t account for 2007-2008 or 2008-present. ANY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS?????? Thank you. Diane
“Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend is a great book to learn how to set boundaries.