You want to have a different work experience – one that is bully-free – yet you might be feeling:
- That you do not know what to do (then education and awareness is key),
- Or you actually do know what you might or could do, but you haven’t yet gotten the clarity and focus (I call this conviction and confidence) to change.
You want to the situation to change, but…
Don’t let your resistance prevent you from moving through the workplace bullying to a better place. Louise Hay, author of “You Can Heal Your Life”, which has sold over 30 million copies, is a world renowned expert in moving through personal change.
Here are some ways we resist:
The Way We Act
- Changing the subject
- Getting sick
- Breaking eye contact
- “Zoning out” and not paying attention
- Creating problems which zap our attention and prevent us from moving on, such as running out of gas, financial problems, relationship tension.
We Assume (in order to justify our resistance):
- If we put forward the effort it won’t change anything
- They won’t understand
- No one can help me – this problem is too unique and complicated
- I’ll waste my time getting help
- This will pass/get better all on its own (illusion – delusion!)
- Nice people don’t get angry or confront others
- It’s too much work
- I’m not sure where to start, so I’ll just put this out of my mind and get distracted
- This will take too long to solve; a small distraction seems comforting
- I simply don’t believe anyone can help me
Giving Away Our Power To Others (we use this as an excuse):
- He (or she) i.e. the workplace bully, has to change first
- As soon as I get (i.e.) more money, then I’ll do it
- I don’t want to hurt them (so I won’t say anything)
- I’m waiting for a full moon, or …
- I am waiting for God so I will just wait (there is a difference between actively waiting in peace and ignoring)
Self Concepts – “I can’t do this because …”
- Too old
- Not smart enough
- Not good enough – why expend the effort
- Too stuck
Delaying Tactics – putting something off until …
- I can’t think right now
- I don’t have time (we eventually create time for things we value)
- As soon as I …, then…
- The time isn’t right
- It’s too late/too soon
Bottom line – it comes down to a choice.
- Do you want your workplace bullying situation to change? Yes or No
- Are you willing to change to make it so? Yes or No
Remember, even though it may seem impossible, many have moved through the impossible. Now maybe you can as well.
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Valerie Cade, CSP is a Workplace Bullying Expert, Speaker and Author of "Bully Free at Work: What You Can Do To Stop Workplace Bullying Now!" which has been distributed in over 100 countries worldwide. For presentations and consulting on workplace bullying prevention and respectful workplace implementation, go to http://www.BullyFreeAtWork.com
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