The bully is often not aware of the irony of their behavior. They perceive the target as a threat to themselves. They feel the target is more powerful in some way, so they attempt to take control of the target due to their own feelings of low self worth. When bullies sense a target “has more” such as the target being perceived as having more intelligence, compassion, the ability to connect well with others or even the ear of the boss or co-workers, this creates a form of separation anxiety for the bully. The bully actually feels abandoned and uses “power-over” techniques in order to control the target to not “get ahead” of the bully.
It is ironic because the target is not a threat at all. In fact, the healthier our self-worth, the more we are able to realize that no one poses a true threat to us. The threat the bully feels is perceived as real for them but it is also a delusion.
So what is self worth? It is knowing that you “have what it takes” and believing you have value.
Here’s What Happens:
Bullies have internalized and locked into their psyche the belief of ‘I am not worthy’. Unfortunately, other people’s successes and happiness becomes a magnet for their misery.
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Valerie Cade, CSP is a Workplace Bullying Expert, Speaker and Author of "Bully Free at Work: What You Can Do To Stop Workplace Bullying Now!" which has been distributed in over 100 countries worldwide. For presentations and consulting on workplace bullying prevention and respectful workplace implementation, go to http://www.BullyFreeAtWork.com
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