When we are in a panic, most of us want to know “What really works with a workplace bully?” – and we want it now!  “Chop-chop”, so to speak.   Well, let’s get right to the point and look at our series called Power Lessons and Workplace Bullying.  Here are this week’s top three tips:

Power Tip #1:

The situation: The bully is overly verbose – either loud, obnoxious, condescending, complaining, upset, etc.

You feel marginalized, awkward, disconnected, perhaps feeling like you either have to say something, defend something, explain something…in order to have equal power.

Try this: Be vague, open-ended, non-committal and detached.

Know this: Striving to connect is a bottomless pit.

The Power Lesson: When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say the more common you appear, and the less control you are perceived as having.  Less is more.

Power Tip #2:

The situation: You find yourself in a snag with a bully and it’s getting heated.

You start to lash out, try to get a word in edgewise, and spend time fuming and planning your next attack – you want to fight back and you think that fighting to win will give you the power you need.

Try this: Surrender…knowingly.

Know this: When you are feeling weaker, never fight to gain honor and respect – it won’t get handed to you.  Choose to surrender instead.

The Power Lesson: By surrendering, it gives you time to recover, regain your composure and furthermore knock the bully off course – his power will wane as you stand confidently, knowing you’re not “playing his game”, but yours.  Turning the other cheek makes surrendering a power tool.

Power Tip #3:

Less is more; striving gives an appearance of being “out of control”, as does being hurried.  To many outsiders, fear and peace look the same.  Peace is more powerful, but they do look the same.  It might be just enough of a paradigm shift for you to realize you do not need to go to battle to gain power; in fact, quite the opposite…if you let yourself.

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2 responses to “Top Power Lessons With Bullies”

1. HR Director says:

   November 2, 2015 at 7:48 am

   So, I stood up to workplace bullies, and now my position is the only senior management post that is not in a new structure the boss has just produced. Feeling exhausted as was off work due to the toll it took on me personally – I have been back successfully for several months, but not sure I can fight this – they have won, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

2. Maz McMahon says:

   October 29, 2015 at 5:34 pm

   Thank you for that advice – my court case against my former employer starts 2nd Nov to 7th Nov. Having read the post above I realise how true that statement is & what I need to is stop the endless battle I feel I’ve been involved in for the past nearly 6 yrs to gain my honour & respect again. I realise by just surrendering – I am not playing her game & I am taking control of my life again! Thank youMaz McMahon

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