Helping You Cope With & Stop

WORKPLACE BULLYING

RESPECT • CIVILITY • ACCOUNTABILITY

How To Gain Back Control From Being Bullied

True or False?

How we feel about ourselves crucially affects almost every aspect of our experience of life.

Answer: True.

Next question: How would you rate yourself right now (on a scale of 1 – 5, 5 being ‘excellent’) for “How do I feel about myself?” – considering your current or past bullying situation. Not a 5? Read on to see how you can protect yourself from feeling “worse” and instead feel “empowered”.

Consider and Know This:

  1. What we think creates self-evaluation.
  2. The process by which we think will often create how we feel.
  3. Our feelings will cause us to either take risks, experience good things, experience confidence if our thoughts are positive; or if our thoughts are negative, we’ll perhaps pull back, doubt, and give our power away.
  4. We are on a continuum of being trapped (loss of control) or empowered (sense of control).
  5. The key to overcoming bullying behavior is to somehow create a sense of control, and to not feel controlled by another.

What Can We Control, and How Can That Help Empower Us Against Workplace Bullying?

Distributed in over 100 countries world-wide:

Want to order your copy of “Bully Free at Work” – Hard cover or eBook?
Click here to order

Yes! I’d like to order “Bully Free at Work” on DVD to train my staff! (49 mins)!
Click here to order

Important Security Notice: Your purchase is 100% encrypted, secure, and safe.

We have the choice to think, and we have the choice as to how we’ll think. However, one of the main issues holding some people (not all) back from overcoming workplace bullying is the temptation to “not think”.

What Do You Think?

A target of workplace bullying was very stressed, and asked her coworker out for coffee to discuss the situation. This was the third time of getting together. The target poured out her heart to her coworker. The coworker listened and asked if:

  1. The target had documented the situation (kept a log), so she could go to her manager.
  2. Encouraged her to leave if it seemed too overwhelming – “No one should have to endure this”, said the coworker.

Here’s What The Target Said:

  • “Oh, the bully has only four years left to retirement; I think it will be okay”.
  • “The bully has every second Friday off, so….”

What Does This Mean?

To maintain any sense of control, we cannot afford to ignore or brush under the carpet any unwelcomed behavior. The behavior will occur again, and the cycle will occur again.

  • Target is offended by unwelcomed behavior.
  • Target meets friend to discuss.
  • Friend encourages target to take some action.
  • Target attempts to ignore; takes no action, thinking the bully will change i.e. “He/she isn’t so bad”, “It’s only for a little while longer”. Illusion.
  • Bully attacks target again, etc.

Freedom does not mean causelessness. Ask yourself where you rate:

Focusing 4 3 2 1 Not focusing
Thinking 4 3 2 1 Not thinking
Aware 4 3 2 1 Not aware
Clarity 4 3 2 1 Vague
Respect for reality 4 3 2 1 Avoidance of reality
Respect for facts 4 3 2 1 Denial of facts
Respect for truth 4 3 2 1 Rejection of truth
Perseverance in an attempt to understand 4 3 2 1 Abandonment in an attempt to understand
Loyalty to our actions and convictions 4 3 2 1 Lack of integrity to actions and convictions
Honesty with self 4 3 2 1 Avoidance of your truth
Congruence 4 3 2 1 Contradictions

This week, to be fully aware is key. To “go through the issue” as opposed to avoiding, might give you the control, energy and freedom you deserve. Stay tuned for next week, where we will look at the top tips to build your self confidence.

*Note: Your name and email will not ever appear, it is strictly used to prevent spam comments.

Comments are closed.

Valerie Cade, CSP is a Workplace Bullying Expert, Speaker and Author of "Bully Free at Work: What You Can Do To Stop Workplace Bullying Now!" which has been distributed in over 100 countries worldwide. For presentations and consulting on workplace bullying prevention and respectful workplace implementation, go to http://www.BullyFreeAtWork.com

© Bully Free at Work. All rights reserved: All trademarks used or referred to on this site are the property of their respective owners. No materials on this site may be reproduced, altered, or further distributed without Bully Free at Work’s prior permission.