Have you ever wondered how to say what you need to say… not at the expense of yourself or another? Most people would rather stick a fork in their eye than have to address a conversation that might carry some form of uncertainty. But what is the alternative? IT might be in your best interest to study how to express yourself clearly…and who knows, it just might be better than holding in all of your thoughts. Here is some information for you to decide:
How To Have a Classy Crucial Conversation that Counts:
Classy: Respectful, win-win, seeking the best for all.
Crucial: A needed conversation to move an issue forward for what’s “best” for the organization.
Conversation: A dialogue where all parties are engaged and exchanging ideas and information.
Counts: Be sure that the conversation ends with a resolution or shared agreement.
Keys for a Classy Crucial Conversation:
How to Proceed:
Using the Classy Crucial Conversation Planner:
1. Start with a Classy Question to create an invitation:
Example: “Can I share something with you?”
2. Add another Classy Statement to show your good intent as opposed to a demand.
Example: “My desire is to support you as best as I can”.
3. The conversation:
“When (behavior) happens…” (share your issue/situation/what happened in your perception):
“When you believe the customer over me…”
“I feel/think…” (how it affects you personally): “I feel invalidated and hurt.”
“What I would like is…” (your expectation): Just be clear and say it…
“What I would like is for you to consider my view of what happened and also believe that it did happen.”
Then ask: “Can you do this?” Yes or No. (Pause and wait for their yes or no)!
• If yes – confirm agreement: “Just so I’m clear, our agreement is….”
• If later the agreement is broken: “I thought our agreement was…”
• If no – Ask “Why?”. You may need more information (i.e.) maybe they have a good reason or a different understanding.
Note: Remember to test for interest FIRST before proceeding. Asking questions and seeing if they are interested or not will tell you wheather or not to keep talking.
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Valerie Cade, CSP is a Workplace Bullying Expert, Speaker and Author of "Bully Free at Work: What You Can Do To Stop Workplace Bullying Now!" which has been distributed in over 100 countries worldwide. For presentations and consulting on workplace bullying prevention and respectful workplace implementation, go to http://www.BullyFreeAtWork.com
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