Two of the top questions we receive are:
How do I know if this is a bully or a difficult person?
How do I approach or confront a bully vs a difficult person?
Here’s the difference: Knowing if it is a bullying situation or an unsuspecting conflict situation is key as approaching them is almost 180 different from one another. You will want to make sure.
Bullying is: deliberate, disrespectful,…
Gossip. We’ve all heard about it. We’ve all done it. We’ve all been on the receiving end of it too. No one is immune. Yes, some are addicted to it and use it as a means of connecting with others.
Workplace bullies thrive on using gossip. It takes a true leader to not participate in gossip. Furthermore, it takes a true leader to stop it. So now what?
They say if you really want to know what people think…
Think of a time when you were ignored. Think of how you felt. Hurt, sad, puzzled, stressed... Did you think, “What’s wrong with me?” or “How come I was left out?” Or how about when you were brave enough to reach out and ask ‘why is this happening?’, and were met with a polished answer from the person that left you with more self doubt and no answers?
Now think about being ignored, left out and…
You’ve mustered the courage to say something. You think “I have finally stood up to the office bully”, and when you do, they have a harsh come-back. Are you prepared?
There will most likely be a come-back from most office bullies when they are confronted, so be ready. Remember, their motivation is self-preservation, not a mutual concern. Also note, if they operated from a secure base of high self worth,…
The bully is often not aware of the irony of their behavior. They perceive the target as a threat to themselves. They feel the target is more powerful in some way, so they attempt to take control of the target due to their own feelings of low self worth. When bullies sense a target "has more" such as the target being perceived as having more intelligence, compassion, the ability to connect well with others or even …
"When the promise (policy) is clear, the price is easy to pay (for holding workplace bullies accountable to poor behavior)." Why is it that most organizations would answer "I don't know" or "maybe" or "no" to the question: "Do you have a workplace bullying policy?" Most organizations do not have one. For the same reason that we have speed limits on roads, organizations need workplace bullying policies. Have you been …
What is a Respectful Relationship?
If you asked yourself, “What is a Respectful Relationship; what does that look like?” you’d be asking yourself a fantastic question. No one would argue that a respectful culture, respectful relationship or respectful organization isn’t a good thing to have. No disagreement there. The disagreement comes in agreeing on this: What is a respectful relationship?
Have You…
Being picked last for the team, not being able to find a room-mate in college, being left off of a party list, or not being asked your opinion while others can speak freely are just some examples of ‘rejection’ experienced by almost everyone. Being rejected repeatedly by the same person can be a form of workplace bullying and it hurts. The question is, how can you move on from the horrible emotional feeling of…
What happens when one is bullied?
We experience unwanted behavior from another.
We may or may not be aware that this is happening - we just know we do not feel good.
We may turn to self doubt - "What did I do?"
We might, as a result of our wondering "why is this happening to me?" start to lose our personal power.
Wouldn't it be great to arrive at a place where we were never offended?
So What Can We…
Do you believe a bully has high self-esteem? Most people will say no. I used to think the same, however, a bully does have high self-esteem. Self esteem has to do with believing one deserves. Deserves happiness, to be treated fairly - really anything. Too much belief or an attitude not balanced in humility creates entitlement. So, could it be that it is the target that suffers from lower levels of self-esteem, not…
