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Short Simple Come-Backs to Use With Workplace Bullies

By admin | July 14, 2010

Oprah has re-runs, and now so does Bully Free at Work!  After 5 years and over 250 weekly messages, we wanted to share with you our top weekly message of all time:  “Short Simple Come-Backs to Use With Workplace Bullies”.

You’ve mustered the courage to say something.  You think “I have finally stood up to the workplace bully”, and when you do, they have a harsh come-back.  Are you ready?

Be prepared – there will most likely be a come-back from most workplace bullies when they are confronted.  Remember, they do not care, and they are often not aware.  Also remember, if they operated from a secure base of high self esteem, they would usually naturally reach out to your statements with concern and compassion.  Remember who you are dealing with.

• You’ve said something…
• There’s a come-back… (denial, counter-attack, victimhood)
• Now it’s your turn!

And you can use this short simple approach with all workplace bullies.

Less Is More.

Here are three “Less Is More” short simple come-backs to help you deal with situations with office bullies.

1. Workplace bullies who talk on and on, pressuring you to agree with them.  You feel you have to say something, but you don’t want to give your power away by showing you agree.  Less is More: Say “Interesting” or “Oh”. This does not commit you!
2. Workplace bullies who are rude with sarcasm, put downs or back-handed statements that are not necessarily direct, but harmfully subtle.  You want to address it, so you say “That seems direct” or “That seems harsh” or “That seems like a put-down to me”.  The concept of using “That seems…” highlights your perception only, and it is enough of a diffusing comment to confuse the power plan of most workplace bullies.
3. Sometimes we feel we have to have a come-back in order to be powerful.  Be silent and just stare back with confidence.  This is the position that “that come-back doesn’t even deserve an acknowledgment”.

Valerie Cade, CSP is a Workplace Bullying Expert, Speaker and Author of “Bully Free at Work: What You Can Do To Stop Workplace Bullying Now” which has been distributed in over 100 countries worldwide.  Feel free to contact Valerie to speak for your organization to inspire your organization to create a respectful workplace, to inform your people about workplace bullying and what they can do or to implement a workplace bullying policy that works.  You have permission to use the above article in your newsletter, publication or email system. We ask you not to edit the content and that you leave the links and resource box intact.

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