10 One-Liners You Can Say to Gain Back Control from the Bully!
By admin | June 1, 2010
Can coping with a workplace bully be as simple as uttering a ‘one-line’ comment? Let me ask you this: What’s the alternative? To try and explain yourself will only invite the bully to deny, counter-attack and then play the victim.
The key is to not give the bully more ammunition; they will only use it against you. If you find yourself being targeted by a workplace bully’s verbal abuse, then considering going with the notion of ‘less is more’ (and also knowing that sometimes saying more will get you less) is a very powerful technique you can use right now and it will save you energy too! For the ‘Top 21 Tips to Help You Cope with Workplace Bullying’ check out page 181 in Bully Free at Work.
1. When the bully is ‘going on and on’ about something: Say: “Interesting…” and leave it at that.
2. When the bully demands your time and you don’t want to give your time: Say “I’m just in the middle of something.” (Hey, you’re always in the middle of something, even if it’s your couch!)
3. When the bully challenges you on your attitude: Say: “I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.”
4. When the bully says, “I was only joking”: Say: “It’s only a joke if we’re both laughing.”
5. When the bully is going on and on about something and you don’t want to commit, get into a dialogue or get into an argument: Say: “Thanks for sharing.”
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Did You Know?
- Want to see Valerie’s video clip on ‘What is Workplace Bullying’? Click here and share it with your co-workers!
- You can purchase “Win-Win Assertiveness: How to get what you want, not at the expense of yourself or others” which has been our number one selling CD album complete with workbook. Click here to order.
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Now, Five More One-Liners You Can Use!
6. Just because you share your concerns with a bully does not mean they will be accountable to your wishes! To start nailing down an agreement after you’ve spoken: Say: “Just so I’m clear, our agreement is…” (For more on how to hold the bully accountable check out page 170 in Bully Free at Work)!
7. Interrupted by the bully? Say: “Oh, excuse me I wasn’t finished yet.”
8. If the bully is pressuring you to agree and you don’t agree: Say: “I see…”
9. When the bully keeps pushing you for an answer and you don’t think they are right: Say, “You might be right.”
10. Silence and a stare with confidence can often say more than any attempt to ‘explain’ to be understood.
Next week by request! ‘The Top 10 Reasons Why the HR Process ‘Might Not Be Working for You’
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